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Building a soundtrack to a new life.   
07:08pm 08/01/2008
 
mood: calm
That's what I'm doing currently.
 
     
2 lies| because the softest lips tell the most precious secrets
 
   
09:04am 21/12/2007
 
mood: awake
I'm sitting at work right now, I love being up in the morning when I actually sleep at night. I was actually so passed out last night that when I woke up I realized I had been sleeping on my keys!

I have been really relaxed this whole week even though I've been all over the place mentally and physically. It's been good for me. I have broken a really long really bad streak of pessimism. I don't know why but I'm so antisocial by nature always have been, I've always needed friends that practically force me to hang out. But this last week I've done my best to not retreat to that attitude of mine. I always need a little help however from some one that I can understand a little better a little easier than anyone else, I definitely had that help. I'm so glad he's here I can hardly think about anything else.
 
     
1 lie| because the softest lips tell the most precious secrets
 
Back in the saddle again.   
09:31pm 17/12/2007
 
mood: curious
I've been thinking for a really long time now, and I can't quite put my finger on what point at which this thing happened to me, or what it is really. I feel as though a slow and subtle change has occurred over the years and I lost myself with it. Part of me thinks this is due to growing up, changing, realizing who you are as an adult... And yet another part of me knows that I've compromised much of the person I used to be in this process. I feel like I've lost a lot of interest in the world and in some people, growing apart is quite definitely the most confusing aspect. Sadly there are some people I've forced to grow apart from me. I never meant to, I never meant to do a lot of things but I did. Even against my own will, that might have been my self destructive side at its best.

The degree of clarity and peace of mind that I have now is not quite what it used to be, but then again maybe I'm just romanticizing my own memories. I've heard that the most painful parts of a person's life are often looked back on as the best ones, I agree because that's when I learn the most about myself. Maybe I just need to start embracing these thoughts and and I'll be able to also embrace a bit of clarity and focus again. Oh the paradox of life.

Somewhere along the line I let myself crash and burn, but finally I feel like coming back to life and putting myself in my best interest for real.
 
     
because the softest lips tell the most precious secrets
 
mr. sinatra why are you so amazing?   
12:13am 26/03/2007
  "Don't worry 'bout me
I'll get along
Forget about me
Be happy my love

Let's say that our little show is over
And so the story ends
Why not call it a day, the sensible way
And still be friends

Look out for yourself
Should always be the rule
Give your heart and your love, to whomever you love
Don't you be a fool

Darling why stop to cling, to some fading thing
That used to be
If you can't forget
Don't you worry 'bout me"

I'm wiritting some essays right now and remember why I love shuffle on itunes so much, it just makes life easier.
 
     
because the softest lips tell the most precious secrets
 
I love antique shops   
12:49pm 24/03/2007
 
mood: chipper
Recently I went to a garage sale and bought a set of 6 gold rimmed martini glasses thinking I could find a tray and glass bottle to go with them and it would just be a cool thing to have around. I don't live on my own but i just love collecting shit so whatever. I went antique shopping with my mom yesterday and we found a peeerfect mirrored tray and bottle after much searching to go along. I also found a japanese paper wallet. She also went to a garage sale a couple weeks ago and bought me a dope ass trunk. I'm thinking about painting it but i kinda like it the way it is... so here they are...Collapse ) I'm also starting a new job on Monday which i'm really excited about because i really need to have my own money and a work schedule again. I'm going to be busy but it will be worth it.
 
     
7 lies| because the softest lips tell the most precious secrets
 
   
11:46pm 27/07/2006
  I'm tired of chasing.
I want to be pursued.
 
     
 
ugh today makes me sad.   
05:33pm 08/12/2005
 
mood: touched
"That's what John Lennon is, more than a musician. He's like Martin Luther King: a flawed human being who rose above his own flaws to inspire other people. And you can't ask more of a human being than that."
-Bob Gruen friend of john lennon


 
     
4 lies| because the softest lips tell the most precious secrets
 
   
11:12pm 23/11/2005
  I watched skeleton key with my parents this evening and i realize that jumpy movies give me turrets.
At least it makes them laugh.
 
     
2 lies| because the softest lips tell the most precious secrets
 
I have decided to finally go...   
05:05pm 14/08/2005
  Image hosted by Photobucket.com  
     
9 lies| because the softest lips tell the most precious secrets
 
   
03:04pm 04/08/2005
  I have had really bad anxiety lately.
I wish I could control it.
I have no reason to get so worked up.
 
     
because the softest lips tell the most precious secrets
 
   
05:06pm 24/07/2005
 
mood: contemplative
I like looking through old lj entries saved in my memories. I think thats because it is so much easier to remember good times you've had with some one than it is to remember the bad ones. All I know is that people require this thing called "space" sometimes. And other times people just grow apart.
It is good to know that for right now there are certain people that I feel I will never grow apart from. Ryan came up this weekend and I feel like a complete idiot for thinking he was mad at me over nothing for so long but I am definately glad he isn't.

This week sarah and I stopped talking over an argument we had before leaving for a bike ride. What she doesn't know is that I was not actually mad because of anything that happened in that argument. I think our relationship is comparable to Felix and Oscar of the original Odd Couple. In the movie Oscar freaks out and throws a plate against the wall of his appartment because he is furious with Felix for not going to dinner with 2 women in their building with him. But what he is really mad about isn't just the girls thats only one part. He is mad because Felix has driven him COMPLETELY INSANE for the past 3 weeks of them living together ALLL THE TIME. Now I admit it is probably my fault for not attempting to talk about this sooner before I for instance "Threw a plate" but thats what happened.

I don't know if or when our friendship will continue. but if it doesn't than I guess it wasn't really worth it in the first place. I can still remember all the good things.
 
     
6 lies| because the softest lips tell the most precious secrets
 
BASS LAKE   
03:30pm 10/07/2005
  Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Read more...Collapse )
 
     
because the softest lips tell the most precious secrets
 
ok so.   
03:52pm 24/05/2005
 
mood: ache-y
I had a really nice day yesterday with my dear friend ryan in San Diego.I love San Diego. For some reason it felt like forever since we really spent time together and I realize its because the last time we really did was in january. Mitch didn't hang out. I still can't imagine why that was.
On a seperate note my eye is fucking swollen and I have no idea how this happened. I am going to the doctor's shortly so hopefully that will clear up....
My school work is kind of stacking up again and I really hope I get it done.
 
     
4 lies| because the softest lips tell the most precious secrets
 
   
03:55pm 11/05/2005
 
mood: calm
I love my darlings.
I feel so relaxed today.
I am hoping work goes smoothly today because last night it wasn't that bad at all. I really want to buy more stuff from american apparel. I want to spend moneyyy. I really don't have any to spend though.
Sarah is moving back home and I am really happy about that. I am hoping this summer brings good times.
 
     
1 lie| because the softest lips tell the most precious secrets
 
   
01:42pm 30/04/2005
 
mood: happy
+I changed my layout.
+My room smells really good and I don't know why that is.
+I am going to see CHER tonight, no joke.
 
     
1 lie| because the softest lips tell the most precious secrets
 
There is a house in New Orleans, they call the Rising Sun.   
12:43pm 17/04/2005
 
mood: ecstatic
Time has been going by so fast that I feel like I can't keep up with myself.
I am flying to new orleans tommorrow afternoon. I'm soooo excited. I totally need this vacation.
I have had the most ridiculously unusual weekend.
 
     
because the softest lips tell the most precious secrets
 
The grass is greener on the other side, but it's green painted cement   
05:52pm 14/04/2005
 
mood: blah
I feel so alienated.
I am just the nice girl, that no one misses.
That's all I am, just nice.
I don't even know if I have any other good qualities.
No one gives a shit, especially those I care about.
 
     
8 lies| because the softest lips tell the most precious secrets
 
   
01:19pm 03/04/2005
  I have the worst allergies right now.  
     
2 lies| because the softest lips tell the most precious secrets
 
hahahaa   
12:23am 02/04/2005
 
mood: exhausted
wow I stress over nothing, I really need to relax.
Tonight was fun for the most part, after I get over all you bitches screaming and being demanding anyways.
 
     
16 lies| because the softest lips tell the most precious secrets
 
rad   
11:54am 29/03/2005
 
mood: accomplished
yesterday I picked taryn and brittney up for lunch, it wasn't that simple however, I had to leave and come back because they were out adventuring when I got there. The 3 of us made some brilliant discoveries about one another, we all like making lists, we want wierner dogs, and like riding bikes. We have got some biiig plans, oh dear, I mean BIG. I am super freaking excited.
 
     
2 lies| because the softest lips tell the most precious secrets